[Filter: Hazel]

Right, I apologize in advance for how absolutely out of nowhere this is going to sound.

I want to go to Keirnan.

Sweet hell.

No one in any bar wants to serve more than one glass of alcohol on the Night of the Dead in this city. And they give you this look when you ask, too, this how dare you show such disrespect to the dead.

What I want to know is how it's disrespectful at all. Maybe I lost someone important and I'm drowning my sorrows. Maybe this was a tradition we shared together. They don't know that I'm just stifled by the "no one breathe wrong" atmosphere. And thirsty.

That's one thing I miss about Korin, I swear. They sure know how to mourn right, there.

[Filter: Private]

The fact is, this isn't going to change any time soon.

The fact is, this is life now, from now until the eternally stretching future, barring some amazing twist of fate that would probably only dick me even worse.

It could be worse. Mostly, the family's deigned to least me to my little vineyard and let me do my own Dragonsdammed thing. I'm not good at it, I don't like it, but I guess that's life. Right?

I ... don't have to be completely miserable. I could be. I have been. But Hazel might be just a little bit right about this.

When you can't change things, maybe it is better to just adapt. Let it become a dull ache and that's it.

I'm used to dull ache.

And I have Hazel, for however much that's worth.

Funny how I thought everything would be better, after she noticed me, after we were together, after we were married, but every step is just more

Right, and that sort of thought is exactly what I am trying not to do, here.

[Filter: Public]

So, Lorcan! I've heard a rumour floating around that you're in Diarnay for some official business from Rhia. Is this true? Please write back.

[Filter: Private]

Yeah, I'm -- sulking. Yeah, I'm probably not the best company right now. Obviously, I know that. How could I not know that?

I just ...

This is it, all laid out. Welcome to the rest of your life, Matthias. In this marriage that's barely working, a week away from fucking Diarnay, where I can sit right under my father's thumb, keeping books and being a responsible adult. That's the rest of my life.

When I always said that I could never picture myself in ten years, I never thought it was just beacuse the only existance I could hope for would be so ...

Yeah, whine harder, you giant fucking baby.

[Filter: Hazel]

I'm going to go down to the common room. Don't bother waiting up.

[Filter: Ian and Jace]

Look, I am having a really shitty fucking month, and Hazel said that she wrote to you, Ian, like three days ago, and still hasn't heard anything, so please, both of you, do me the service of not having been killed and further ruining my entire life.

Especially you, Ian, because seriously, you're the fucking Heir to Dentoria, I don't think dying in Floran is going to fly.

[Filter: Private]

So that's that.

Father says jump and I say how high! After all of this. After years away at the Academy, after thinking I was married and adult and finally free, I go right back to Diarnay and I'm more under his apathetic dragonsdamned thumb than ever before.

That's life, huh?

That's my life.

I shouldn't even be surprised. I shouldn't ...

I shouldn't ever had dared to think that I was free.

Start packing your bags, Matthias, you're about to become a landowner.

[the writing is very uncontrolled]

[Filter: Private]

Fuck him!!

You son of a bitch!!

You've never given a sideways fuck about what I've done before, never. I could do whatever the blessed hell I wanted so long as I never asked you to notice, that's been our system, Father.

Now, now I'm married and I finally want to settle down and go relatively good and quiet and you do -- this?

You fucking --

I hate you. You know that? I absolutely fucking hate you.

You'd think I was owed a little free gold since you can't even remember my fucking name. Haven't I earned that?!

[Filter: Hazel]

Yeah, so guess what?!

[Filter: Hazel]

Yeah, alright. Let's do it. If you're sure about it, too, I'll write to my father and get the money tomorrow.

I like it. Nice place. Already got all these ideas of what we can do with it.

[Filter: Private]

Hm, does look like a nice place. Big, spacious, nice, furnished. Lots of land, too. Reasonably priced, all things considered.

And it's here in Aeda, far from home, which is the best thing of all.

[Filter: Public]

Well, Dragons, after a Guardian of the Altar gives a little sermon for the journalfolk, how am I supposed to say something? You can't really compete there. I'll just look like an idiot. Fuck!

Uh, let's just go with ... Happy Day of Everlasting Light, uh, keep it faithful and good all throughout the year. Right.

Tradition broken.

[Filter: Eriena]

Well, hey there, you.